Claimng Lordship
by Jesagon
Summary: What happened to all those old fortunes? Where are all the famous Lords? And What exactly can you find more then riches in a bank? This was most probably not what anyone intended...


*Author of this fanfiction, me, does not have any rights that would allow her to earn money from anyone reading this at the current time. So make sure you haven't given anyone any money to read it. thank you*

Claiming Lordship.

Harry let five drops of blood fall to the surface of the paper. He had asked Hermione previously why five drops where used, and not a more magical number. Her answer had surprised him. Apparently there was no real ritual or spell that enabled the goblins to instantly know your whole family tree. Instead, they had a magical paper that transported the drops of blood to a secret testing facility that then analyzed the sample using muggle technology (the magical paper was spelled to emit mysterious lights and sounds for quite a while…) and then the information was passed on to the paper using similar means.

Harry had then wondered about how the goblins acquired DNA samples from wizards and witches around the globe and from all times… Hermione then had to explain how it was very common to use body parts and blood in various aspects of magical life. Harry had by then tired of listening to his friend and so didn't know a whole lot on the subject anyway.

After roughly three hours of agonizing silence, (Goblins didn't usually do small talk, and the silence that had arrayed the room since the blood had touched the paper wasn't the most comfortable one.) a list appeared on the paper.

Harry glanced at the goblin in front of him, hoping he'd get some sort of clarification. The goblin, noting his look, looked pointedly at the door. Harry gave a sigh but left without a word, as custom dictated. When he reached the lobby of the bank a goblin teller waved him over, it looked as if he would indeed get an explanation of what to do next!

"Mr. Potter, do you have the list?" The nasal voice suddenly reminded Harry of that he had been lucky in a way that goblins didn't speak to their costumers unless they needed to. It hurt his ears a little. Absently he handed over the paper and realized he hadn't even read it.

"Ah, yes. The usual I see. You have roughly 20 vaults to claim should you wish…" Harry had to ask, he really did.

"20? And that is usual?"

"Certainly Mr Potter, most British magic folk today is related to the famous four, Merlin, Dread Lord Dureaine, to mention a few…"

"And no one claimed the vaults?" He could clearly see the mentioned named on the paper now that he knew what to look for. This was just plain weird…

"Should you wish to claim any of the vaults, or all of them you will also claim their titles. I believe you wizard folks are a bit wary of having to give something in return for unlimited wealth."

"Your saying no one has claimed any of these titles because of what exactly? What does it entail?"

"It differs naturally, with whom the inheritance came from."

"Give me an example if you please…" The goblin gave Harry a look, a look that Harry interpreted as – how have you not heard any of this? – and then he spoke.

"The Title of Lord Potter for example, you notice how your late father never actually claimed the title, preferring instead to open a new vault for his family?" Harry nodded, having a difficult time imagining where this was going. "It is a strong trend amongst the old families… The Malfoy's are one of the few exceptions…"

"You were speaking about the Potters." Harry flinched a little when the goblin glared at him.

"Indeed I was. To claim the Potter lordship you would be required to uphold all binding oats that are currently in affect for lord Potter, and it is no idea to ask me what these are, the previous Lord Potter will have to inform you of this…"

"But he's dead, right?" the goblin glared.

"I am aware, as I was saying; and then you would have to bear the token of Lord Potter. It is here that your father faltered."

"So it's some family ring he didn't like? That seems a bit extreme."

"The old families where wise little hume. To make sure that no one not of their line tried to steal the family fortune they made sure to make the tokens a bit more noticeable then a measly ring. They were magical after all."

"Okey, I'm having a bad feeling about this…" The goblin threw a coin at his head, but smirked. Harry thought it was a bit more intimidating then the glares.

"Lord Potter is required to wear a pair of goat horns at all formal occasions."

"… What?"

"A pair of horns mr Potter. From a goat."

"Why a goat?"

"Why does Wizards do anything? It is of no interest to us goblins." Harry thought he could see the goblins' lips twitch a bit, as if he were trying not to smile.

"And what other tokens are we talking about?"

"Merlin's heir is required to wear red lingerie on the outside of his or her clothes…"

"Did they even have lingerie in Merlin's time?"

"I have understood that it was originally a cow's intestines that where wired around the body…"

"Oh Merlin, I'm sorry I asked…"

"Slytherin tasks his heir with spelling snake scales on his or hers genitals…"

"Holy smokes! You know what… I'll just stick to what I have alright?"

"Certainly, pleasure doing business with you mr Potter." Harry rushed out of the bank, thankful that his father had not forced some obscure practice unto him.

Inside the bank a meeting was taking place between the bank manager and a goblin teller.

"Anf the outcome?"

"He was not interested in claiming any inheritance either my liege."

"Good, good. We should be grateful that all wizards are idiots, or they would realize the absurdity of it all. But if it brings more gold to our people, who are we to complain?"

The goblin teller snickered as the goblin king and chief banker made another notice in the book before him. Unclaimed gold didn't need to stay so forever after all, and as long as it wasn't stealing a goblin would do what he could to trick the gold out of a wizards pocket.


End file.
